The Beekeeper's Apprentice
The New Liberal Lexicon
1. Anti-Progress Party -(AP, or Anti-P) formerly known as the Republican Party, because they want to drag us back into the 1600's.
2. Anti-Choice - formerly known as pro-life, because you can't be for the death penalty and still be pro-life
3. Religious Reich - formerly known as religious right, because they're just not right.
4. The Wrong Wing - because they're not right, either.
See the full text in February 2005 Archives
2/24/2005 - The Apprentice
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Remember Those Government Made Ads That Look Like Real News Reports?
8/20/2005 Ok, so the husband and I are sitting around the other evening, flipping through channels, looking for something, anything, to watch on those 150 satellite channels we have, when I passed by the local CBS affiliate and said "hey, let's watch some watered down semi-news!" The first story we catch is about oil refineries, and how there are half as many in the U.S. now as there were 20 years ago. Then an "expert" from the...yep, from the OIL INDUSTRY says that there would be more refineries, and gas prices would be lower, except for those clean-air and clean-water and we-can't-have-those-deformed-babies-or-women-dying-from-15-different-cancers-at-a-time environmentalists screwing things up for the rest of us by making it just too damned hard for oil companies to get permits. Somebody call the Waaaaahmbulance. The "reporter," who seemed even more cookie-cutter-all-american-perfect-coif-Brooks Brothers-suited than normal, tells us that U.S. refineries can't handle heavy crude, and that's another one of the reasons why gas prices keep going up, and don't show any sign of letting up anytime soon. Which made me wonder...Oil reserves peaked, somewhere around, oh, last month. From here on out, it's all downhill. I seem to remember reading recently that heavy crude is the gunk at the bottom of the proverbial earthly barrel of oil reserves. I also remember reading that U.S. reserves peaked and petered out, for the most part, a couple of decades ago. If that is indeed the case, then the reason why the U.S. doesn't have more refineries than it does is because there's nothing left to refine here. Example: ANWR - remember all those news reports about how there's maybe a 6 month supply of oil in the ANWR? Would kindof make it pointless to even put a multi-million dollar drilling operation there, wouldn't it? Always smacked of "last drastic measures" or "tell the people what they want to hear - they can keep those Yukons and Suburbans and drive to hell and back, and BP will always be there with the lights on and the pumps running!" Those thoughts in turn led me to believe that this "news story" was anything but. While watching it, I got the feeling it was a fake job...nothing specific, just a vague feeling that I was being conned - like I was on Candid Camera or something like that. After thinking through the above, it occurred to me - I had just been scammed, and I've got a $10 dollar bill in my right pocket that says that "news story" was a government con-job from beginning to end. A little too pat, too easily digested, and just exactly what most of the american populace likes to hear. I believe that was I saw on my local evening news was a planted fiction designed as "news report." I wonder how many of those I've been seeing these last 4.5+ years?
George, It's Time to Stand Up and Act Like a Man 8/11/2005 George, may I call you George? I ask because it's the polite thing to do, and because I simply cannot muster enough respect for you to call you Mr. President. George, if I may, it's time you stand up and act like a man. You've waged this war in Iraq for more than two years now, and it's become what you were warned over and over again what it would become: a quagmire, not entirely unlike Vietnam. You've got blood on your hands, George, an awful lot of blood, and it's screaming from the ground. Cindy Sheehan is camped out at the end of your driveway. She has been for some time now. She doesn't show any signs of leaving. Why? She wants answers, and you've got a hell of a lot of explaining to do. Did you ever make some really stupid comment, or do something really stupid, that Laura gave you the cold shoulder over? Imagine the cold shoulder times 10 to the 10th degree. That's the kind of explaining you need to do now. So far, all you managed to do is send an "aide" or two down the driveway to speak with Cindy. She said they were nice, but it's not good enough - she wants you to take that walk down the driveway and explain a few things to her. We would like to hear the explanation too. I'd like to know, well, how exactly you wage a war that creates a socio-political black hole in an already volatile region, send young men and women to die for what? oil?, not have the decency to attend a single funeral, be told up and down and 16 ways from Sunday that you made a big fat bloody mistake, and you still have the temerity to proclaim victories. What victories would those be, exactly? How, exactly, has becoming the poster boy for Al Quaeda recruitment qualify as a victory? How, exactly, does getting soldiers blown up on a regular basis in Iraq, qualify as a victory? The only victory I see is the victory for Al Quaeda, who has become so all-important in this country that we see boogeymen around every corner, we see anthrax on the top of frozen pot-pies, we have our names searched against terrorist databases everytime we conduct a financial transaction, and paranoia reigns supreme. That, George, is a terrorist victory, not an American victory. George, it's time to stand up, suck it up, and start explaining what the last four and a half years of death and destruction has accomplished. I keep hearing from various loyalists that you are Jesus incarnate, that you're the chosen one, that you are Neo and you will save the world from the matrix of terrorism...but here's the deal, George. You've been a very naughty boy, and you've got a hell of a lot of blood screaming from the ground for vengeance. They say that history is written by the winners - that is not always true. History is written in blood, for the most part, and blood will be avenged. History will have her revenge, in the end, as historians and biographers in the near future will not be kind to you. All the Rove's and Delay's in the world cannot save your memory, George. Take heed, and change your wicked ways now, while you still have a chance. In the meantime, take that long walk to face your victims...'fess up, let it all out. Maybe even offer that poor woman a few minutes in the air conditioning, and an iced-tea. Show her some southern hospitality, and then take a deep breath, and start answering. Oh, and by the way, what's with this 5 week vacation bullshit, you lazy bum? Get your ass back to Washington, and get to work. Where do you think you live, France??
BushCo is an IDiot, and a Crooked Little Bugger, To Boot 8/2/2005 BushCo announced that he thinks ID, or "Intelligent" Design, i.e., fundamentalist biblical creationism, should be taught in public schools because students should be taught "different idears." Really, "Mr. Not-My-President?" How about we teach, alongside ID, which force-evolved (ironic, ain't it?) from hardcore literalist creationism because hardcore literalist creationism couldn't get past the front door of the Supreme Court for the last 30 years and more, the Hindu creation story, the Lakota creation story, and every other creation story, because they're "idears" too, aren't they? No, they are religious doctrine, in one form or another, and have no place in a science class. It isn't about equal time, it's about "all of the time." How many times do I have to say this: ID is NOT a scientific theory. Goddidit doesn't qualify as science. Proclamations are not science. What to expect from a crooked little bugger who waits until Congress is out of session, and then appoints Bolton (any relation to crooner Michael? Hmm? Think about it...Michael Bolton with a big nasty 'stache...but I digress) in some kind of trumped up emergency status appointment, with a free ticket to ride for a couple of years. This guy keeps making Nixon look like a candidate for sainthood.
They're Here.... 7/27/2005 Ok, maybe they're not here, but I am. After a couple of weeks of R&R, the Apprentice is back, with a few observations about the utter absurdity of being a member of the human species in the 21st century. Hybrids. Great idea. Or, at least, they were. The early generations of hybrids marketed here in the U.S. were marketed poorly. They advertised 70 mpg...which was wonderful. Unfortunately, American car drivers like, for the most part, to have some sleek lines to their cars...and power. The hybrids were, well, just plain ugly. Now, the auto industry, in response to American desires, have turned the hybrids into something more than clown cars that any self-respecting automobile-phile wouldn't be caught dead driving. There's the Ford Escape hybrid, which isn't too bad. Honda has the hybrid Accord, which also isn't too shabby. Just a couple of examples of a bad idea turned good. Not quite. Y'see, the new hybrids don't get 70 mpg. They get on average about 2 mpg more than their gasoline brothers and sisters. You MIGHT save about $200 per year, if you drive a heck of a lot. What's that battery cell being used for, if not gas savings? Power. Particularly acceleration power in gears that usually don't pack much punch - you know, 3rd, 4th...yes, those nifty gas/oil saving batteries are being used as mini-turbo chargers. Meanwhile, American drivers get a decent enough looking car that they can proudly proclaim is "green" and is "good for the environment" and is "helping the impending energy crisis", when all they are driving is what we used to get with a 4 bbl carburator. Big freaking deal. Rumsfeld says in today's Washington Post that we're going to start pulling out of this debacle of a war in Iraq next spring. I'll believe that when I see it. Will this be like "the war will be about 90 days?" Yes, I think so too. Plain clothes police in the UK manage to knee jerk their barettas, what, 8 times? Into the head of some schmuck who probably got the shit scared out of him enough by a couple-few guys chasing him with guns. Who else thinks they might have run for it, too? I understand being a little trigger happy, but 8 times isn't subduing a fleeing suspect, it's a hit. The mafia does cleaner jobs. More from the Washington Post today - "CIA Leak Probe Casts Wide Net"...if it don't get Rove a ticket to the stockade for treason, it ain't wide enough. That guy needs to go to jail. You just don't out spies, it only makes sense. Spies getting outed also makes for poor recruitment to the intel world. The Discovery launched yesterday without a hitch. I wonder if, on their way into the capsule, the crew turned to the support techs and asked "you didn't have any parts left over this time, did you?" And why in the world is DeLay not muzzled yet? And who the heck IS this Roberts guy, anyway...corporate lawyer? Great, that's what America needs on the Sup. Ct. Another corporation lover who will continue the madness that is calling a corporation a person. On the home front, I signed up for daycare for a kid that won't even be born until January '06 because the waiting list is that long, and it's gonna cost me a cool G a MONTH just to put my kid in a place where I can feel relatively secure that little he/she will still be alive when I go to pick him/her up after work. Somebody please pinch me, this country can't be this fucked up. To all my buddies out there, I haven't forgotten you. You see, I'm on a mac, and haloscan, which was working just fine, now is completely invisible on my own site and on everyone elses even when viewed over 3 different browsers...Soon as I can figure that out, I'll be inundating your sites with my rambling again. In finale, I hope everyone has been well. Peace.
Don't You Just Love It When... 7/11/2005 Some rich idiot of a republican starts spewing about homeschooling, women staying home to raise their children, and what poor people really need? I do too, it just gives me that warm fuzzy feeling - kind of like the one you get from standing too near a nuclear reactor. Santorum (I won't even grace him with a "Mr.", or a "Senator" prefix, as he doesn't really warrant respect from yours truly). He's "graced" us with another piece or neo-con trash disguised as a book called It Takes A Family. Santorum thinks that staying home, like his wifey-poo did, to raise his six sniveling trust-fund babies and homeschool them is actually an option for many many many many Americans. Well, guess what, Santo-baby, it's NOT AN OPTION. Many of us don't make enough money between 2 spouses/partners/whathaveyou, because we have to buy food - which went up in price again, gas, which really went up in price again and isn't going to go down anytime soon, car payments on shitty little compacts that last until the warranty runs out so we can drive across the suburbs to our jobs making $30K a year each if we're lucky and if we're not lucky a heck of a lot less, mortgage payments, rising electric bills, rising water bills, rising gas bills, rising heating-oil bills, and lordy help you if something breaks and will cost a grand to fix, because you're going to be in hock up to your eyebrows for the next 10 years to fix that furnace and guess what, It'll be the water heater that blows next winter and what world are you living in Santorum? Homeschooling? I don't trust it, and let me tell you why: take a look around you next time you're out in public - in a mall, at the K-Mart, walking down the street - how many of those people look capable of counting to 20 using all four appendages, much less teaching their kids about wavelengths and algebra and history? And guess what? It ain't about the sorry state of public education, it's about how to keep it sorry, so sorry to the point that eventually some dumb elected f*&% manages to pass a bill through congress doing away with it altogether. This ain't about them making their kids smarter, it's about them making your kids dumber - it's about a workforce with little or no education, that will be ripe for the pickings at the proverbial company store. Homeschooling (snort), give me a break. Maybe Santorum's not that rich - but he's well-enough off, obviously, that wifey-poo could stay home and teach the kiddies all the bigoted garbage that the wrong-wing is well known for. And I'm willing to bet his kids are sniveling little brats who have no concept of how to survive outside the "pen." In other words, well-enough off to be living in a dreamworld.
Here's Looking at You, London 7/7/2005 First of all, to any and all friends in England today, I apologize on behalf of the 51% of the U.S. who voted for BushCo, and who eggs on this shit from the crazies in the world, and who also encourages your own nutcase to egg on the crazies in the world. I apologize on their behalf, because they, for the most part, are too mule-stubborn and plug-stupid to apologize for themselves. Second, some of us feel for you, we really do. The explosions that wracked your great city today might never have happened had our country not screwed up royally in 2000, then again in 2004. The reason we got hit by terrorists when we did was because our country had what the world saw at the time as, at best, an ineffectual "president" who got in through crooked shenanigans and a Supreme Court-style bloodless coup. The timing was perfect, the date was no coincidence, the country was already divided, and now it's come down on you fine people. It's always the people who suffer, too - the leaders can't be gotten to, so the pissed off crazies in the world come down on we the common man and woman, who for the most part are just trying to get to work so we can put in our hours, collect our pay, and go home. I just saw that the death toll is over 30, with perhaps as many as a thousand or more wounded. This liberal's bleeding heart bleeds a little more tonight in the face of death, devastation and fear. Good night, good luck, and all my best wishes for you and yours. Let's all hope our "leaders" get some sense soon. Peace, and stay strong.
Prepare 7/1/2005 I just heard the news: Sandra Day O'Connor has resigned. The old bitty couldn't hang on for another 3 years, eh? Prepare for the BushCo nominees to rip through your sensibilities like a Kansas twister. We all already know what kind of nominees we'll most likely get - raving assholes of the universe, who can't keep their noses or their bibles out of a woman's crotch, who thinks all your kids should be learning bible stories instead of science in school, who thinks that your kids should be praying to jesus in school, no matter what your particular belief should be, and on, and on, and on and on. I'll concede, there is still the chance that georgie will get a brain cell moving, and will choose someone at least moderate - yeah, and there's a 1 in no-freaking-way chance that I'll win the mega-millions lottery tonight and won't ever have to work my tuckus off again. Or, jackalopes might fly out of my nose tonight like Pepsi while I'm snorting and guffawing at Reno 911 because I really, really need some comic relief. Prepare for the storm, because you all know, despite all our hopes, that there's going to be the mother of all perfect nomination storms in a short while. The Court loses it's collective mind (see below) enough already, and I've got a sinking feeling that it's going to get nothing but worse, because I can see another Scalia-type being nominated, and forced through. If the Dems are going to grow a set, it's time to get on with the growing, because they're going to need them.
The Supreme Court Lost It's Collective Mind 6/28/2005 The Supreme Court lost it's collective mind with three rulings that, quite frankly, the Apprentice just has to shake her head sadly at. Last week, the court ruled against homeowners in Connecticut and decided that the locality can take their property through emminent domain to put up a convention center and hotel. Now, emminent domain has been around for quite some time, but it has been for such necessities as widening roads. Now, the localities can take your home for other development, raze it, and allow it to be replaced with a convention center. Or, a Wal-Mart. Or, a strip-mall. Or, a mall. Or, some other useless piece of crap that all of our cities are infested with already. Example: My hometown of Richmond, VA, took the existing convention center in a not-so-great part of town that locals won't even go to, and expanded it for several blocks. The area is still not-so-great, and the convention center still hosts mostly those "computer shows" and "sales" where you can buy unbelievably outdated floppy disks at a premium, not to mention used Pentium 2's for what you can get a Pentium 4 through Dell for. Then there are the car stereo and electronics shows, packed with hot merchandise. Wonderful - it brought so much vitality to a rundown part of town. I would hate to see what the developers paid for that particular piece of backwards decision-making. Of course, all my republican co-worker's thought it would be fun to rub in the fact that it was so-called "liberal" judges who voted in favor. I shot right back without batting an eye that the Supreme Court is evidently just as bought and sold as every turkey in congress, wrong-wing AND Dem. Call me jaded, but I think they're ALL in it for the money. Fire every single one of them, and start all over is my new mantra. Jefferson would have been proud. Don't think this ruling will affect anything but economically depressed areas, too. Washington DC is already thinking of using the ruling to take land for a new baseball stadium. Again, that's something my 'burg of Richmond would LOVE to do - put a baseball stadium in a flood and sewer-backup prone part of town. The Supremes also did the old song 'n dance routine of "(corporate) Money Can't Buy You Love (but it sure can buy you that junket in St. Thomas)" when it came to whether or not classified cable internet can be considered a "telecommunications device", and subject to open access regulations. Take a wild guess which way they went - ding ding ding, pick a prize, you guessed it - it's not, and it's unregulated. Which leads some to think that "The Supreme Court has paved the way for a privatized, tightly controlled broadband environment that will bear little resemblance to the open, diverse, and competitive internet of the past." It thought you already had to go through your cable company (for high speed), use their line, pay them monthly, and put up with their bullshit over it - was I wrong? All this time, I thought we only had 3 choices anyway: phone line, whether dial up or DSL, cable or satellite, and either way, you end up paying through the teeth. Maybe I'm just woefully behind the times. The ACLU calls it a breach of freedom of speech and privacy in a world of internet monopolies...and who knows, they might just be right. Either way, we're all going to be paying for it now. Finally, and it's a good thing, because I don't think I could take anymore for a few days, the Supreme Court decided it's OK to put giant monuments of the ten commandments (from the KJV, I assume) in the front yard of the Capital building in Austin, Texas, but little framed versions in Kentucky courthouses gotta go because...get this...the giant monolith in front of the TEXAS capital building (get it?) is "tinged with secular historical and educational meaning" while the Kentucky frames were put up "six years ago with the unconstitutional purpose of favoring monotheistic religion." I guess the bigger and heavier it is, not to mention being in TEXAS, it's ok. If it's framed and hung on a wall, it's not. Well, guess what, Supremes? It's NOT OK EITHER WAY. It's still pushing ONE religion over ALL OTHERS, and that's why it's UNCONSTITUTIONAL. It's not about size, it's not about looks, it's about fair - not everyone in this country is christian, or even Jewish, this country wasn't based on christian principles, in fact, it was founded by a bunch of deists, agnostics and dreaded atheists. The only "holy" scripture that this country is based upon is the purely humanist doctrine of freedom of speech...freedom of religion...freedom FROM a state sponsored and solely powerful religion. It's called the Constitution...it's called the Bill of Rights, and It's called separation of church and state in order to protect each from the other. Want to see what happens when religion becomes the end-all be-all and the last voice of authority in a society? Go take a look at Afghanistan, Saudi Arabia and Iran. Not my idea of a free society, or one I for one would want to live in.
Guest Spot, Featuring What Dick Should Have Said 6/26/2005 Every now and then, I'll be posting a Guest Spot. This rant about the Dick Durbin episode, which the wrong-wingers in my local paper are still crying over, is from my buddy Scott in Chicago: Thank you SO much, Dick Durbin for folding like a cheap tent and giving all of the conservative bullies in the country another reason to celebrate. Do you think that ANY Republican would have apologized like a whipped puppy for saying something that made Democrats angry? If you really had to apologize, how about this instead: "Ok, I shouldn't have compared the interrogators at Gitmo and Abu Ghraib to the Nazis...that was over the top and I regret it. But let's face it, what happened at those places was a lot closer to the Gulag than to the Mayo Clinic. And it's a pretty sad state of affairs when someone who points out how bad torture is has to apologize, and not the people who actually committed and abetted those atrocities. If you want more from me, first go and demand apologies from everyone who tortured and killed helpless prisoners and irreparably damaged America's reputation as a champion of human rights, from everyone who knew what was happening and did and said nothing, and from everyone responsible for ensuring that American prisoners are treated humanely, up to and including the President." Cheers, Scott - if only our "elected representatives" in the Dem camp had cojones of such a shiny brass. Hear that, Dean??
The More Things Change in the South, the More They Never Freaking Change 6/22/2005 Edgar Ray Killen was convicted of manslaughter after 30 years and a prior "do over" by an all white jury in 1967. Killen was a Klan member who at least helped in the murder of three civil rights workers in 1964 in Mississippi. I've heard all kinds of comments on the news about this, from "ordinary" (read: white) folks in Mississippi. Comments like "he's just an old man now" and "why do they have to drag all of this back up?" Here's why: Because the man was suspected for 30 years of killing three people, because one of them was black, and the others were trying to improve a horrendous situation. Murder. Cold blooded, and brutal, murder, and there isn't, and shouldn't be, a statute of limitations on murder, be you 25 or 95. Why drag all this back up? Because the country needs a little justice, and if the FBI has to go back 40 years to get it for us, then so be it, because we're not getting any now. The Klan were the quintessential american terrorists, and still are, despite that warm and fuzzy look they try to pass off now. Which brings me to the question: Why is the FBI suddenly hot and bothered about 40 year old murders of civil rights workers? And Why is Emmet Till's body being exhumed and the investigation of his murder being continued? While I say great, better late than never, you bunch of FBI slackers...but I can't help but wonder why now, and what is all this a smokescreen for? Back to the Show: Harlan Majur,former mayor of the tiny-town where Killen was tried, said "...the Klan 'did a lot of good up here' and said he was not personally aware of the organization's bloody past." And Bee will bet dollars to donuts that this guy was himself a purveyor of the white-trash sheets at some time in his past. I guess lynching, beating, dismembering, bombing, cross-burning, raping and general terrorism doesn't account for "bloody," but only in the back-assed South where the more things change, the more they stay the freaking same. And just exactly what good did those waste' of oxygen do back there in Mississippi, or Alabama, or Georgia, or any place in the world? Bet that idiot voted for BushCo, too.
War on Women Redux, and a Few Other Observations 6/18/2005 The War on Women continues in Wisconsin, where a bill was passed in the Assembly to ban the dispensing of emergency contraception on state university campuses. The bill still has to pass the Wisconsin Senate, though, and the Democratic Governor Jim Doyle says he'll veto it if it is passed. Go Doyle! The wrong-winger's stance? The usual - those harlots deserve what they get! "Republican Rep. Daniel LeMahieu introduced the bill after a health clinic serving UW-Madison students published ads in campus newspapers inviting students to call for prescriptions for the drug to use on spring break. Are we going to change the lifestyle of every UW student? No," LeMahieu said. "But we can tell the university that you are not going to condone it, you are not going to participate in it, and you are not going to use our tax dollars to do it." In other words, all you ADULTS OVER THE AGE OF 18 CANNOT HAVE THIS FORM OF BIRTH CONTROL! Get it? These are COLLEGE students - the vast majority of them are LEGAL ADULTS being told that they should not be able to get LEGAL ADULT PHARMACEUTICALS from their university health centers. In other words, the little tramps should just shut up and lock the chastity belt, or suffer the possible consequences of having LEGAL, ADULT SEX. That's the Wrong Wing in action, folks - utter, unbelievable, unconscionable disregard for the rights of others - it's called creeping fascism. Now, on to other things: the husband and I were driving around today, with the radio tuned to NPR, where I hear the voice of Dick Cheney pontificating nauseously upon the patriotic virtues of...ready? Are you sure? Gerald Ford. Yes, you read that right. Gerald Ford was a great president, perhaps one of the greatest to ever live - a great man who was right to pardon Nixon. With Conyers holding meetings of Democrats to discuss BushCo Impeachment, "Go Conyers!", these statements stink of CYA. Cheney seems to be assuming that if BushCo is impeached, that Cheney will be left President, and will be able to pull a Ford and pardon Georgie. Well, we all know that old adage about the word ASSume... This country stinks, from shore to gleaming shore, of con-men, snake oil salesmen, hucksters and self-appointed prophets. It's time to clean house - get out the vote, folks - this could all be turned around in the congressional elections in 2006.
War on Women 6/12/2005 The war on women was just bumped up a notch in Colorado. A while ago, I wrote about pharmacists around the country refusing to dispense birth control pills and the emergency contraception colloquially known as "the morning after" pill because according to their religious beliefs, they would be "committing murder" if they dispensed such evil into the world. I also came to the conclusion that their refusal to dispense prescriptions to women was arbitrary and had nothing to do with religious belief but everything to do with the exercise of control. In Colorado, a bill that would have required hospital emergency rooms to dispense emergency contraception to rape victims was vetoed by the governor. Why in the world would Colorado's republican governor deny progressive, victim-protection legislation that would require emergency contraception for women who had just been subjected to the most violent, degrading, demoralizing, soul-bashing, body-bashing, mind-screwing crime that a female can be subjected to? Because the pompous, holier-than-thou bastards don't like it. Those women should suck it up, "by god", and have the babies of those rapists! And they'll like it, "by god", because those harlots probably invited it to begin with, wearing those trampy outfits, living alone without a husband to watch over them, and they got what they deserved. Sounds nasty, doesn't it? Kind of like that cardboard box that's been sitting way back in the corner of the basement for ten years, mildewed and collaping under it's own sopping weight and don't stick your hand in it, because who knows what disgusting creature of the dark is living in it. Yes, that kind of mentality is why women in Colorado, if they have the extreme misfortune to be raped by some scum of the under-earth, will just have to deal with it if they turn up pregnant by the cretin who raped them. That's the "compassionate conservatives" at work - the ones who are busy tearing through the rights of everyday Americans like a medieval berserker...and why? It's all about control, folks. Nothing more, nothing less. They want no more than to fulfill their pipe-dream of a Beaver Cleaver household where little Stepford June cooks for Wally and The Beav, where pop comes home from work tired, where little wifey in a pretty little dress and apron rub pop's feet and bring him a beer to swill in front of the tube while he's reading the paper, and wifey? Well, wifey is safe at home - no car, no money of her own, nowhere to go, and all the other women are in the same boat. The Apprentice has news for you "compassionate conservatives" out there - that was NEVER how life was in America. We American women have a long rich history - 200 years of it, as a matter of fact, of sisters who said "screw that" in a rich, strong, united voice. We fought for, broke laws for, and were the vanguard of abolitionism. We fought for, broke laws for, were deported for and marched for our own freedom in our right to be heard and dictate our own destiny - suffrage. We came together in the mid-20th century and burned our bras, went to work, fought for rights over our own bodies, and obtained ERA and Roe v. Wade. Our mothers and grandmothers paved the way for the freedoms that women now take for granted - reproductive rights, health care on par with what men receive and to have the justice system treat us just as it treats men. Yes, we paid prices along the way - we can't hide behind our husbands anymore, we can't hide behind the front door anymore and we are just as much to blame for allowing these insane vetoes of progress to occur as the men are for vetoing the progressive legislation. It's time to start fighting again, sisters. All those gains our ancestors - mothers, grandmothers, and on back through our history as American Women fought and risked jail and sometimes death for - are under the most extreme of attacks. For all you sisters who drive around with "Bush/Cheney '04" stickers on your vehicles - rip the stickers off. Liberate yourselves from the gospel of man, that age old dogma that tells you that you're not beautiful if you're not wafer thin, but that if you're not modest and decked out in burkas, you'll deserve what you got if you find yourself raped, which is the message coming from the State of Colorado and the so-called "conscience clauses" (or, rather, lack thereof) that are popping up for pharmacists. That gospel of man which for thousands of years told us that we're not able to think for ourselves, that we women are the mental equivalent of children, and the menfolk need to do our thinking for us. Did you know that in the early years of women's suffrage, women were not allowed to vote even in the organizations devoted to women's suffrage? Did you know that today the Federal government itself even specifically and pointedly left out all mention of emergency contraception instruction for rape victims in it's guildelines for dealing with...rape victims. The War on Women is just starting. With every small gain, the puritanical, fanatical, egotistical, misogynistic forces against progress become stronger, and they've got a good buddy in the White House. They should be ashamed of themselves for the harm they cause, but they're not, and they won't be anytime soon - not until the rest of us start berating them for their narrow-minded simplistic jingoism of "we know better than you do what's best for you." The fact that some of these pharmacists who refuse to dispense medications based upon the sorry excuse of 'religious dogma' are themselves women and that the Colorado governor who vetoed a progressive piece of victim-protection legislation probably has a wife and maybe even a daughter who could benefit from such legislation, makes it all the more disgusting and hypocritical. The catholic church and the evangelical christians and every other sect or denomination who would have dreams of controlling the lives and bodies of women in America need to have their tax exempt status yanked out from under them. Bring your political agenda to the table, and pay the taxes. This is one American woman who is sick of paying taxes to fund churches that want to rip my rights away from me.
Go Take A Look My buddy over at Zen Comix has some of my favorite political commentary in the form of cartoons. If you haven't been over to Zen's site yet, wander on over, take a look - there's some good stuff always brewing over there. Also, no, I don't get a thing out of this completely unsolicited plug, other than to promote a site that I like to visit regularly.
Compassionate Conservatives in Action, Again...and the Suffering Just Piles Up 6/7/2005 I personally am of the opinion that marijuana should be legalized across the board, and sold like their more dangerous cousins, cigarettes. The Supreme Court doesn't think that even seriously and/or terminally ill persons should be allowed to use marijuana medically, even when prescribed by a physician. While several states allow the medical usage of marijuana, and possession of it in small amounts for such purposes, the Supreme Court ruling will effectively trump all such state's rights...wait a minute, aren't the wrong-wingers always prattling on about State's Rights like this was 1860? Oh, that's right, only when they're trying to get elected. The BushCo administration, through DEA spokesman Bill Grant says: individual users have little reason to worry. “We have never targeted the sick and dying, but rather criminals engaged in drug trafficking,” The Apprentice has a crisp new $5 bill that says yeah, the sick and dying will be targeted, sooner than later, because according to the Supreme Court "While the justices expressed sympathy for two seriously ill California women who brought the case, the majority agreed that federal agents may arrest even sick people who use the drug as well as the people who grow pot for them." Let's see how "nicer, kinder" the Gonzalez Justice Department is than the Ashcroft was - I'm willing to wager that $5 bill that it won't be. It seems that the overriding concern of anti-choice crowd, the wrong-wingers in general, the Religious Reich, BushCo and now, grandstanding, the Supreme Court, is to exacerbate as much suffering as they can. While it is possible that the sick and dying won't be targeted for the 6 pot plants in their backyard (although that is exactly how this ruling came to be - 2 ill california women who were raided during Ashcroft's reign of terror. For 6 pot plants. SIX. Meanwhile, with this new ruling effectively trumping the laws of 10 states, how many people will suffer needlessly because they're too afraid of being busted and sent to prison to break the federal law, even if there is no real chance of their house being raided? Quite a lot, I'd wager. Terminal cancer...AIDS...chemo...all kinds of diseases and their treatments can cause unbelievable suffering. Pot seems to help. It helps without the constant fog of an opiate like Demerol, or Percocet. Yes, those painkillers are opiates. If you've ever been on them for more than a day or two, you'll know what I mean when I say those painkillers are incredibly addictive. Just ask Rush Limbaugh. Pot, on the other hand, provides an easier pain/nausea killer. Isn't it addictive? No studies to date have shown that to be true. Possibly, if smoked like cigarettes, but hey, what about those cigarettes? I just kicked my own 20 year habit myself. I should have been smoking pot...it would have been easier. BushCo's comment was “Science and research have not determined that smoking marijuana is safe or effective." What that statement really means is that no studies nor research have shown marijuana to be unsafe or uneffective, either. Maybe it's time to start really studying it's effects as a pain relief agent, among other qualities that it may have. It's time to quit acting like pot is as bad as crack, and start really looking at it. Otherwise, people end up suffering needlessly. Take a look at the early lobbying efforts against the legalization of marijuana - oil industry, because pot can make a not so bad ethanol fuel. That's just the tip of that iceberg. The real iceburg is that another medically useful substance is effectively banned due to ignorance and fear. There's compassionate, and utterly stupid, conservatism for you. Deny possible treatment to the suffering, just because they can. Of course, that unfortunately also applies to many people who would consider themselves to be "progressive."
Answering the Call, Getting Screwed and Yellow Stickers That Stand For Non-Thinking...Well, You Can Guess The Rest 6/4/2005 The Apprentice doesn't like to go into screaming sessions on this website, I think usually a well placed barb or two accomplishes so much more. However, I have suspended my usual "scream at the tv" rule in favor of venting here, as this is a vent I suspect several of you will join me in. Stars and Stripes - yes, that old news outlet for the armed forces, ran an article on June 2, 2005 about homeless veterans. According to Stars and Stripes,"Veterans Affairs officials estimate that about 250,000 veterans are homeless on any given night, and another 250,000 experience homelessness at some point." Furthermore, "Linda Boone, executive director of the National Coalition for Homeless Veterans, said about 70 homeless veterans who fought in Iraq and Afghanistan contacted her group’s facilities in 2004, and another 125 homeless veterans from those conflicts last year petitioned the Department of Veterans Affairs for assistance." Something is very, very basically, deep down to the core where the conscience should have been but has evidently been replaced by a black tar petroleum heart, with a government that would allow this situation to develop and to continue in such a manner. Back in November '04, I seem to remember BushCo prattling on about supporting our troops - this, other 51% (take to account for fixed optical scanners in Florida and rigged systems in Ohio) is NOT support of the troops. These people answered when their country called, for better or worse, for crooked war after crooked war, all the way from Vietnam to the current quagmire in Iraq, and this is NOT the way they should be treated. So, how about those little yellow "support our troops" stickers and magnets on the backs of your Escalades and Excursions and Tahoe's, made in TAIWAN, while a quarter MILLION of our men and women who served their country go without a roof over their head - how about that? Makes me feel so fucking patriotic, makes me feel like ripping off those little stickers and scrawling in pig's blood the words "LIAR...HYPOCRITE....FOOL" all over the back of those Excursions and Tahoes and Escalades. And as for the guy down the road whose bumper stickers on the back of his HUMMER, and I kid you not, folks, this is for real, this is the extent of the depravity of the mindset of this other 51%, say "Bush/Cheney '04" and "HUMMER FOR JESUS" (I'm offended, and I'm not even christian) I really, really want to scrawl in silver Sharpie "BIG DUMB GUY COMPENSATING." In my Not So Humble Opinion, maybe if these people weren't so addicted to the flesh that they would actually believe that driving that road hogging tarmac chewing gas guzzling behemoth down a city street designed for Mr. Bean cars is impressive to the rest of us, this world might be a calmer place, and we wouldn't have to go knocking over other countries for their oil supplies, and then have our vets come back and be homeless by a quarter million strong. How many homeless vets did you other 51% pass by during your trip to our Nation's Capital last summer, or to New York City to see that wonderful new completely nonsensical dribble on Broadway, or to the capital of your own state...how many did you secretly, or even openly, say "man, I wish those lazy bums would just go get a job." Well, guess what, Mr. and Mrs. Other 51%, they DID their job already. They did yours, too, for all you self-righteous blowhards who didn't join up - like BushCo, Rummy, Cheney, Ashcroft, etc. etc. etc.
Just Plain Old Tramps and Thieves 6/3/2005 I was about five years old when Watergate broke and a crooked presidency was toppled. I don't remember much from that time, other than the nagging question of who was Deep Throat? It was a bit of a let-down to find that Mark Felt, some guy I've never heard of, was Deep Throat. Ah, well, the truth is out, at last. G. Gordon Liddy and Charles W. Colson, two Watergate jailbirds think that Felt is unethical, shameful, a snitch. Yes, Liddy who did time for his role as a petty burglar in Watergate, and Colson who did time for obstruction of justice during the ensuing investigations, think that Felt is a dirty rat. Possibly two of the world's most unreliable sources of pontification about the moral and ethical qualities of Deep Throat, have, of course, been slathered across the airwaves by the mainstream "liberal" press. Funny thing, though, as Media Matters points out, Fox, CNN, MSNBC and Today failed to tell their viewers that - oh, by the way, these two goons went to jail back in the 70's over - well, Watergate. So, these two get a free pass on the moral bandwagon, evidently...and why? I think it has to do with the current climate of fear - fear of the current administration that they might just end up with a Deep Throat of their own - it smells like damage control before the damage is done. The wrong-wing idea of damage control: make them sound and look like crazies, and noone will take them seriously. This soapboxing by Liddy and Colson, of all people, strikes me as being just that - in a wrong-wing world where up is down, wrong is right, and we're all down the rabbit-hole, it makes sense in the sick, twisted way of rabbit-hole politics. Damage control before the damage is done. Smells rather "Rovian," doesn't it?
Downing Street Memo, Tramps and Thieves 6/1/2005 I've been deliberately avoiding the Downing Street Memo. I was waiting to see if it would be shown to be a fake prior to my jumping on the bandwagon of outrage. It hasn't been shown to be a fake, and I'm not really feeling so outraged, though, at the now famous Memo "leaked" by the British Sunday Times on May 1, 2005. The Memo has been called the "smoking gun" of proof that BushCo wanted to invade Iraq months prior to the March 2003 invasion, way back in July 2002. This isn't really a surprise, though - many were saying on September 12, 2001 that Iraq would be a target of this administration - look who we're talking about, after all...a mediocre, lackluster, best-you-can-say-about-him-is-he-is-ineffectual-at-best guy...until 9/11. After that, he suddenly became a self-styled "war president." He even bragged about it during his 2004 re-election campaign. Daddy lost the first war - yeah, I know, I've heard all the ooorah bullshit about the U.S. winning that war, but the prime target, Saddam, remained untoppled in '93, and business carried on as usual in the middle east, absent Saddam's skuds and genocide, that is. What is there to be outraged about? We all knew this war was a big fat lie on the eve of it in 2003. Well, many of us knew, anyway. All this "smoking gun" memo does is confirm the early doubts that many of us had as to the veracity of this war. "Smoking gun" evidence of collusion between BushCo and Blair-spice. Kind-of knew that, too. Rep. Conyers wants an investigation, and wants us all to sign a letter to the White House demanding a few answers to the questions that this memo raises, such as: Is it true? Of course it's true. Of course it's real. Trouble is, we all knew it, and what we know now is that there won't be any meaningful investigation, this White House won't answer any questions, and in fact won't even allow the questions to be asked at all. BushCo does what BushCo wants, and all our "liberal" victories aside, the wind is starting to smell like urine, from all of us pissing in it so much. So far, it seems the only thing keeping this country from devolving into a full theocracy is all those "activist judges." Public Opinion never meant much to this administration, and means even less now that BushCo doesn't have to be re-elected. However, short of an actual, full fledged coup in 2008 and installation of a true BushCo dictatorship, this guy and his little buddies can't stay in that house forever. He has to come out sometime. All of those wrong-wingers in congress - you know who they are - they can't stay there forever either. Sometime, they have to come out of Capital Hill. These men and women have created a nightmare deficit, a world relations nightmare and a big fat regime nightmare that doesn't give two whits about terrorists, and its only desire is to control the citizenry while they line their pockets with money and power. They will not be allowed to hide in retirement from their deeds. Because around that cyber and hardcopy corner, will be all of us - watching, and speaking, and dragging their already besmirched names through the mud they made. Some of these cyber-freedom riders are in school studying journalism. They will be the future reporters for the Washington Post and the New York Times. The face of this nation will change, folks. It MUST change. We're at a pivotal point in American History - which way are we going to let it turn? The wrong-wing plans ahead. It's time we plan ahead - plan for the day that all of the above can't hide behind the american flags made in China and the little yellow "support our troops" car magnets made in Taiwan and behind the Rose Garden and "executive privilege" and a republican congress. They can't hide forever - just remember that. The war on the American culture has been waged - not by terrorists, not by Islam, but by the current administration and all their loyal supporters. The Culture of Life is a sham, a lie and many have been bamboozled by the dogma of self-righteous misanthropes and misogynists and bigots and snake-oil salesmen. This particular American has not, and with a child on the way, now has much more at stake, and much more to lose. "I have a dream..." Yes, I do have a dream, a dream that is America - where theocracy has no place, where bigotry is not condoned nor encouraged, where those who lack are given a hand, where those who go to war when called, no matter the "rightness" of that war, are given a hand when they come home and where every child has a chance, not just the children of the rich. That dream of America was visible - a speck on the horizon, but visible, in 1999. It came to a shuddering halt in 2000 thanks to the connivances of the group of people currently in power, a group that makes Nixon look like a saint. In 2006, that dream can be kick-started again with the state and congressional elections. With so much at stake, we must choose correctly.
The Smithsonian Just Got Knocked Down a Peg or Two in Bee's List of Great Places to Visit 5/28/2005 In March 2005, I posted a blog about theDiscovery Institute, a creationist "think tank" working under the oxymoron of "intelligent design." Ever since Darwin first published his Origin of Species in 1859, the biblical literalists have been trying to suppress it. We've all heard of the Scopes "monkey trial" in the 1920's. The biblical literalists, you know the type: the earth is 6,000 or 10,000 years old, the Grand Canyon was formed by Noah's flood, and the dinosaur bones either a) aren't as old as those heathen scientists say, or b) god put them there to test our faith or c) the devil put them there to test your faith, tried for years to put evolution on the shelf of public teaching, and to insert creationism in it's place. Not every religion's creation story, mind you, just what tends to be the pentecostal/evangelical/hardcore southern baptist version of the creation story - a literal reading of Genesis. On the good side, replacing evolution with Genesis entirely in public schools would free up a lot of time - only 2 chapters deal with creation, and if they want a literal reading, well, then teacher would only have to read those 2 chapters to each new johnny and jane that passes through their classroom doors. On the bad side, America is already woefully behind other parts of the world - Europe, Japan and for criminy, South Korea, in scientific cutting edge research. We were once on the forefront, now we're in the backwater. Thank the creationists and thank the Religious Reich. BushCo doesn't like stem cell research. The Religious Reich doesn't like new vaccines, especially if they are for STD's. And the Smithsonian, specifically the National Museum of Natural History, that bastion of reason and scientific inquiry, has allowed the Discovery Institute to premiere an anti-evolution movie (not to be confused with a documentary or educational film) in in it's facilities for a donation of $16,000. Yes, the Smithsonian has sold it's "soul," it's scientific integrity, to the Religious Reich for a paltry $16K. Museum spokesman Randall Kremer said "It is incorrect for anyone to infer that we are somehow endorsing the video or the content of the video." What Mr. Kremer failed to mention is that while the Smithsonian may not endorse the video, don't think the creationists won't be screaming to the "high heavens" that the Smithsonian does endorse the video, and that the Smithsonian at least "co-sponsored" the movie, and that the "halls of science" don't accept evolution, so neither should you! This long struggle between religion and science is ludicrous, at best. There is nothing more than a contrived struggle - meaning, the struggle does not exist. Science won a long time ago when antibiotics were discovered, and their discoverer realized that the bacteria could evolve to be immune to the antibiotics. Science won a long time ago when the mystery of the age of the earth and universe were finally, at least partially, answered. Intelligent Design is no worthy opponent to evolutionary theory, as ID isn't even a scientific theory - it is the same tired "Old time religion" of creationism that was so insightfully portrayed in the film "Inherit the Wind," and the Smithsonian, a center of learning and reason and of scientific inquiry, has no business getting into bed with creationists. And if you think I'm making "sweeping generalizations," go check out some ID sites sometimes - you'll see a lot of phd's obtained solely for the purpose of "lending credence" to ID claims. What you won't see is true peer-reviewed literature, or experimentation, or hard evidence, or positive evidence, or evidence of any kind other than "god did it" or "evolution isn't true" pronouncements. In short, you'll see nothing of credibility. The creationists have their museums, replete with Noah's ark where yes, they tell you how Noah did get 2 of every species onto the ark, and I have no problem with them having their own museums to ignorance and fear and loathing of the dark and of howling at the moon. I do have a problem with the Smithsonian, unwittingly or not, giving these people some semblance of legitimacy, because their belief is a religious belief, not a scientific grain of knowledge, and creation teaching belongs at home or in church, not the public schools, and certainly not in the National Museum of Natural History, which serves ALL of america, not just the fringe elements of cult-crazies and snake-handlers.
We Interrupt This Transmission For Breaking News 5/28/2005 In the interests of disinterest, I'll make this personal annoucement as quick and painless as I can make it: The Beekeeper's Apprentice (now, how do I say this without offending delicate sensibilities?) is "knocked up." Yes, around mid-January 06, there will be a 'Lil Bee that might be "the One" to change the world, or might be dumber than a bag of hammers. Either way, in the immortal words of Forrest Gump, "That's all I have to say about that."
Stem Cell Research and the Fundamentalists 5/25/2005 Yesterday, the House passed a bill that will allow further federal funding of what promises to be a bonanza of cures for all manner of horrendous diseases, from Alzheimer's to Cystic Fibrosis and boy-o-boy, it it BushCo's current "thorn": embryonic stem cell research. Harry Reid wants a quick vote in the Senate, and supporters claim to have the 60 votes to overcome the filibuster that Frist's clan threatens to impose. Yes, that's right - a filibuster! Just the thing the wrong-wingers were up in arms over just a day or two ago, when the democrats threatened to use it to stall BushCo federal judiciary nominations. HYPOCRITES. Even worse than hypocrites, they are two-faced weasels! BushCo says he will veto the bill if the Senate passes it. He says "The use of federal dollars to destroy life is something I simply do not support", and when asked what to do with all the embryos that labs will destroy each year that do not get implanted into a uterus through the in vitro that they were intended for, BushCo has nothing further to say other than "The issue that involves the federal government is whether or not to use taxpayers' money that would end up destroying that life." This man actually believes that somewhere, deep under the Nevada desert, there is a lab that grows all these unused embryos in big vats, all covered with feeding tubes and floating in jelly, just growing and growing until 9 months later, bingo, bango, a bouncing baby boy or girl is pulled out, slapped on the bottom, the plastic umbilical tube is cut, and you've got a whole new generation of babies just growing up in the desert, wild and free and oh-my how majestic! He must believe that, because otherwise, he would have to admit that those unused embryos from fertility treatments are thrown in the trash. Incinerated. Dust in the wind, so to speak. He would have to admit that it would be a shame to waste it, why not use it, study it, see if you can cure Arlen Specter of cancer with it. Nancy Reagan wants it. Any sane person wants it. We're tired of watching loved ones dying of diseases that seem to be at least partly man-made. But the religious reich doesn't want you cured. They don't want your daughters or sons to have immunizations against HPV. This vaccine could prevent untold numbers of deaths from cervical cancer in the future. So what's religious reich's problem? That it might encourage youngsters to be more sexually promiscuous (which the Apprentice really doubts), or because it might prevent a cancer that occurs only in women? The religious reich wants you to think what BushCo apparently thinks, that all those unused fertility treatment embryos are going to be walking around and talking one day. If we all were to come, through brain damage or possible inhalation poisoning, to believe that, they would be able to exercise more control over all of us. That's what it's all about, folks - control.
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"The most formidable weapon against errors of every kind is reason. I have never used any other, and I trust I never shall." - Thomas Paine, The Age Of Reason